I like to think it a success when the cops are called
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize