Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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