Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Randomize
