I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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