I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
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