How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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