Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Randomize
