My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Randomize
