Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
I feel great
I just peed on a car
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
