i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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