We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
I need to sanitize my soul.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
