They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
