i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
Why is there bacon in the couch?
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
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