12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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