you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
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