My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
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