Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Randomize
