I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Randomize
