"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
Randomize
