You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
I got inside last night via doggy door
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
