I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.