He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
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