Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(203): View more from Connecticut

walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!

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(760): View more from California

And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"

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(360): View more from Washington

Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.

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(708): View more from Illinois

so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.

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(203): View more from Connecticut

We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?

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(519): View more from Ontario

What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?

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(559): View more from California

We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.

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(949): View more from California

I hate that we are older than the real world people now

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(919): View more from North Carolina

He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him

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