when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Randomize