All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
