Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
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