don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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