Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
Randomize