READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
