hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
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