i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Randomize
