Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
