Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
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