did you get engaged???
i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
