I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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