ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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