Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Randomize
