He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Randomize
