All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize
