You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
Randomize
