Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
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