It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
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