So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
