On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Randomize
