Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
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