listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
