He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
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