Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
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