She went from zero to smokin in five shots
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
organizing the empties. That sober.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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