I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
