Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize