Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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