All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Randomize
