I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
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