You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
