I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
Randomize
