At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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